Taking Risks

There must be something about the night before a Comic Con. The night before 2014 New York Comic Con, I got a job offer in California. The night before 2016 San Diego Comic Con, M tells me that he wants to drop out of the training program at work, and move out of Los Angeles.

A little background on the situation: M has a very stressful job, and the position in Los Angeles is easily one of the hardest of his industry’s positions in the country (if not world). He comes from Washington and Nevada, both states without income tax. While he got a raise to come to Los Angeles, California’s income tax rate is so high, he’s making less than he did in Seattle. Working harder for less pay wasn’t worth it to him, so he told me he’s decided to drop out of the training program. This triggers a number of things within his company, but mostly this means they can send him wherever they want, without any input or preference.

Many of you know, 7 years ago this week, I took a huge risk and moved across the country for love. I nearly ruined my career, and when it became apparent that the relationship would fail, I worked my ass off to figure out how to make it home. It took me 2 years (three if you count the year it took to get settled back in California) to repair the damage I had done. While I don’t regret taking the risk, I learned a lot about myself, my career, my goals, and what makes me happy.

And right now? Living in California near my friends and family makes me happy. I worked hard to get where I am with my new company, I’m well respected, and I’m finally comfortable with the workflow. Why would I throw all of this away to move to a new city which I don’t get to choose. The list of places I would consider moving is very short, and chances we’d get one of those cities is very low.

Not to mention, M&I aren’t married. I’d have to quit something I worked hard for, to move somewhere without friends, family, or a support group, give up medical benefits, and hope I can find employment. If we were married, obviously this would be a different decision, but he’s made it clear to me that he’s not sure if he ever wants to get married. Following him blindly is not worth the risk that he’ll grow out of that decision and/or change his mind.

M hasn’t officially put in his resignation (yet). I think he wanted to talk to me first about his decision, and I’m 99% sure that it don’t go as well as he had planned.

I’ll keep you posted, but for now it’s not looking good.

UPDATE: He put in his resignation. And I’m pretty sure most of you saw the “Roatrip from hell” on Twitter anyway.

UPDATE 2: So, turns out he isn’t leaving California after all. He referred to my birthday vacation as our farewell tour, and told me he’d be leaving the state by October. Found out he reinstated himself at and is staying in Los Angeles for the foreseeable future. Pretty fucking shitty way to handle things.


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